Go With Love – Dr. Limor’s Blog

Dear Jewrotica #6 – Separation During a Woman’s Period

Dear Jewrotica #6 – Separation During a Woman’s Period

Dear Jewrotica,

What’s with the scriptural prohibition against sex during/immediately following the woman’s period? Is it based on fertility, infection, or something else?

~ Leon from Manhattan

Other than the well-known notions related to Niddah (as a supposed solution to matters related to hygiene, procreation, fertility, sexual/ marital continence, respect for womanhood and the mighty “two weeks abstinence maintains lecherousness” theory), there’s an additional, rather unusual explanation for the whole ‘Vey menstruation blood’ practice:

Talmud passages suggest that the rabbinic horror of menstrual fluids is not merely religious, but genuine and visceral. For example, in the following from the Tractate Shabbath, a woman attempting to drive away a snake may rely on her secret defense. The ultimate weapon, according to the Sages, is for the woman to tell the snake, “I am menstruous.”

“If a woman sees a snake and does not know whether it has turned its attention to her or not, let her remove her garments and throw them in front of it; if it winds itself around them, its mind is upon her; if not, its mind is not upon her. What can she do? She should cohabit [with her husband] in front of it. Others say, That will even strengthen its instincts. Rather she should take some of her hair and nails and throw them at it and say, ‘I am menstruous.’”— Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Shabbath 110a Soncino 1961 Edition, page 535

Projecting their own attitudes onto the snake, the rabbis believe it would be repulsed by a niddah. But what threat does the snake offer the woman? Of course, a venomous snake might bite the woman, but the rabbis’ explanation continues in the following:

“If a snake enters a woman, let her spread her legs and place them on two barrels; fat meat must be brought and cast on the burning coals; a basket of cress must be brought together with fragrant wine and placed there, and be well beaten together. They should take a pair of tongs in their hand, for when it smells the fragrance it will come out, so that it can be seized and burnt in the fire, as otherwise it will re-enter.”
— Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Shabbath 110a Soncino 1961 Edition, page 536

The danger, apparently, is that the snake will crawl up the woman’s vagina and take up lodging. Remember the dreadful “Garden of Eden evacuation”?:

טו וְאֵיבָה אָשִׁית, בֵּינְךָ וּבֵין הָאִשָּׁה, וּבֵין זַרְעֲךָ, וּבֵין זַרְעָהּ: הוּא יְשׁוּפְךָ רֹאשׁ, וְאַתָּה תְּשׁוּפֶנּוּ עָקֵב.
“And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; they shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise their heel.” (Genesis 3:15)

It is difficult to separate the snake from its deeply ingrained phallic symbolism. Menstrual blood repels the snake in this story, representing the power of menstrual blood to ward off male advances.

God means business… Shabbat Shalom, y’all!
http://jewrotica.org/2013/05/dear-jewrotica-6-separation-during-a-womans-period/2/image

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Dr.FeelGood- Jewish Weekly Review -Australia

Dr.FeelGood- Jewish Weekly Review -Australia

DEAR DR. L

Published on Thursday, 30 May 2013 2:20 PM

Dr. Limor Blockman
I’m contacting you in regards to a matter I have been struggling with, ever since my husband of 8 years has brought it up a few months back. My husband suggested that we should take part in an extramarital activity better known as swinging. The ‘community’ he referred to is a very exclusive and intense one that meets once a month for a weekend of sexual explorations. When he first initiated the discussion about the matter, it was brief and insignificant but ever since,he has become more and more demanding of my response to his request. I personally find my husband very attractive and fail to see the point of an exhibitionistic activity of that sort, and in swapping in general. I consulted a few of my close friends that had versatile opinions;some thought that it could enliven our relationship ,while others saw it as a treacherous step leading solely to destruction, which is pretty much my own opinion. I don’t know how to approach him about that or honestly what to say to shift him from this,now almost a fixation. Please help me save my marriage!

Dalia

Dear Dalia,

Thanks for your question, I assess that the topic of swinging comes up in close to 40% of married homes, figuratively or verbally alike, either way it comes down to it being a very common and urgent discussion on today’s relationship ‘menu’ so to speak. I’m pleased that you are opinionated and thus examining the matter pre action ,whether it is through consulting acquaintances or a professional. I must emphasize refraining from bringing a personal opinion into our discussion, as this is not the place to present a manifest advocating or negating the choice of this alternative lifestyle,as the topic is too vast to dissect and in any case to each his own. In your specific case ,I must professionally recommend aborting this notion ,as the foundation of it is rocky and might predict an upcoming collapse. Rarely do both parties approach this venture with mutual interest ,exultation and stamina. In your case ,you have already stated that should you take part in this activity it will be solely for your husband’s sake, surely any activity that is being pursued for any one else’s interest rather than our own, is bound to end in discontent to say the least, especially as we’re dealing with a form of action that might jeopardize your entire marriage. In a more abstract way of putting it, ‘one might find it extremely difficult to surrender to imposed vegetarianism,healthier choice as it is, after being indulged with sizzling steaks that are just eager to be eaten,whenever the craving arises’..

In conclusion, I strongly recommend avoiding this activity and engaging in an assertive yet supportive dialogue with your husband, preferably with a third professional party, to examine needs and wishes that might be addressed and supported by other notions, much less crucial or hazardous to your relationship! Best of luck!!

Dear Dr.L,

I’m a 43 year old man, healthy in general other than my hypotension that I was diagnosed with a few years back. I recently have experienced a difficult divorce ending a 15 year marriage, I’m quite distressed and shocked being ‘thrown’ back into the dating scene. I went on a few dates that were pleasant enough, however I keep getting nervous over my ability to satisfy a new partner or maintain the sufficient stamina ,as I haven’t experienced any relations with anyone other than my spouse for so long and feel pretty anxious. I don’t suffer from impotence per se and do wake up ‘functional’ so to speak ,but I thought I should consult you with your wonderful wisdom examining whether it will be risky or problematic for me to use a Viagra prior to my next date, as I assume it will put me at ease and allow me to function more freely with less anxiety.

By the way I truly like your column and am very thankful for your time!

Jacob

Dear Jacob,

First, I would like to personally thank you for your kind words, I highly appreciate your compliments! As to your profoundly important question, I’m very thankful for your boldness bringing up ‘recreational use of prescription medication’,as it is highly common and mostly hazardous. You are a young man, clearly not battling impotence as you attested to morning erections, more importantly (and HERE is the most important part of your inquiry), you DO suffer from hypotension. Viagra by its property lowers blood pressure by enhancing nitric oxide and thus vasodilating blood vessels.

Being a man that already deals with lower blood pressure, you would be knowingly putting yourself at risk using a vasodilator. I’m very certain that there are many men in your position dealing with new relationships and/ or emerging out of long and familiar relationships,thus exhibiting discomfort and anxiety over new connections, however there is absolutely no need in taking any physical risks when approaching an emotional challenge, the latter can be dealt with via psychoanalytical methods that might provide reassurance, establish self confidence and introduce new ways along the dating scene management. I commend your approach seeking advice. Please refrain from unnecessarily using this medication and embrace a long and healthy life.

Best of luck and happiness!

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com Doctorlimor@gmail.com

Posted in Dr. Limor Blockman.

http://www.jwr.net.au/dear-dr-l-2/

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Israeli Week column- Love Bites

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וידויים”- המדור הסקסי של ד”ר לימור בלוקמן / פרק שתים עשרה “

מאירועי השבוע האחרון: יצאתי בעליצות מתפרצת לכיוון שער היציאה של הטיסה הקרבה ושלפתי את הסלולארי בחיפוש אחר שמות חברותיי הווגאסאיות

“WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS” וזה בדיוק מה שאני צריכה.

ממש עם ירידתי מן המטוס,כשאני מתנהלת לאיטי לעבר קרוסלת המזוודות הזכורה עלי לרעה, הצלחתי להשיג את דנה,חברה שמתגוררת מזה שנה בווגאס ונהנית מכל רגע.

“בובה יפה שלי, מה שלומך?” נהמתי אל תוך הטלפון בהתרגשות “מה את עושה הבוקר?”

דנה צהלה מצדו השני של הקו “אל תגידי לי שאת בדרך,תמיד אמרתי שאת יודעת להפתיע,איזה כיףףףףףף!!! מתי לבוא לאסוף אותך?”

“מה דעתך על,עכשיו?” צחוק משוחרר ואמיתי פרץ מגרוני.

“את לא רצינית!!! טוב מותק, אני רק אודיע שאני מאחרת לעבודה ואני מגיעה!”

גבר גדול מימדים נעץ בי מבטים עורגים ליד הקרוסלה ” לא יותר יעיל שיסתכל על תנועת המזוודות, שלא יפספס את שלו” חשבתי לעצמי.

“SIR,

החלטתי “לנצל” את התנאים הקיימים וחייכתי אליו

תוכל בבקשה לעזור לי לשלוף את המזוודה כשהיא מגיעה?” שאלתי בעפעוף ריסים ומתיקות לשון.

“SURE HONEY, NO PROBLEM”

השיב לי הגבר החביב והתקרב אלי מעט.

“אז מהיכן מגיעה בחורה יפה כמוך, ועוד בלי בן זוג?” החליט מיד לדבר “עסקים”.

“מישראל,אני אמנם לבד כאן ,אבל אהבה יש לי” שמרתי על ארשת פנים רצינית ואמינה ככל שניתן.

“לא ידעתי שהנשים בישראל כאלה חתיכות,בשביל מה הם נלחמים שם כל הזמן,לא יותר פשוט

JUST TO MAKE LOVE NOT WAR?”

סיכם במחווה לג’ון לנון המנוח.

חייכתי לעברו וסימנתי אל מזוודתי שנפלטה אל הקרוסלה. הוא זינק ושלף אותה עבורי.

“תודה רבה DEAR, באמת תודה” הטעמתי במבוכה.

“אז אין סיכוי להיכרות, זוגיות, נישואין?” שאל בבדיחות.

“אני חייבת לרוץ אבל,תשאיר לי את המספר שלך ונהיה בקשר” עניתי כשאני גוררת את המזוודה לעבר הדלת האוטומטית.

התיישבתי על מזוודתי בהמתנה לדנה. היא הגיעה 10 דקות מאוחר יותר,מנופפת ידיים ומהבהבת באורות המכונית. קמתי בהתרגשות ורצתי לעברה.

“איזו הפתעה יקירתי,לכמה זמן הגעת? איך אני שמחה!!!” פניה הקורנות של דנה מילאו אותי באושר רב שלא חשתי מזה שבועות.

“יש לי כמה שבועות אבל נראה מה יהיה. את ממש חייבת לרוץ לעבודה?”

“אני חייבת מותק אבל את מוזמנת להצטרף אלי,אלא אם כן את רוצה ללכת לנוח אצלי בדירה,אני אתן לך מפתח”

“אני חושבת שאלך אליך להתרענן ולנוח,עברו עלי ימים לא קלים.אני כבר מחכה לשבת ולדבר איתך” תחושת השחרור המטריפה שהעיר הזו העניקה לי והחיוניות של דנה ,נסכו בי רוגע מיידי.

מיד כשסובבתי את מנעול הדלת, זינקה עלי פינצ’רית ננסית ועליזה. הנחתי את מזוודתי וליטפתי אותה,היא השתובבה וליקקה את כפות ידי.

“סיידי, את שוב מציקה לאורחים”? קימברלי עמדה מעליי וסייעה לי להתרומם ממושבי על השטיח עם סיידי.

“הי קים, אני לימור,לא יודעת אם..” קימברלי הדפה את דבריי באלגנטיות.

“בטח ששמעתי עלייך מדנה, אני שמחה שהגעת. רוצה להתקלח,לנוח ,לצאת לאן שהוא? אני ביום חופש” סיכמה בחיוך.

הרגשתי לחלוטין “בבית” לנוכח חביבותה של השותפה לדירה.

“אני מתקלחת ואז נראה,טוב?” היא כיוונה אותי אל ארון המגבות.

האם תצליח לימור “לשנות מקום ומזל” בתחום האהבה? קראו בשבוע הבא..

http://israeliweek.com/וידויים-המדור-הסקסי-של-דר-לימור-ב-3/

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Poetic Lechery on Jewrotica

Written by Dr. Limor Blockman. Born and raised in Haifa (Israel), Dr.Limor religiously relates her writing to her origins and her Judaism. For more writing by Dr. Limor, check out the Jewrotica Fantasies series.

Certainty

You unfold my sex at dawn, spreading me wide to your fond extent.
I gasp in anticipation as you strain your glorious endowment,
Rupturing my circumscribed opening.
I stretch and delve to appraise the staggering invasion,
You gaze in my eyes in search of love affirmation.
Do you unveil it? Is it out for the taking?
Have I become so diaphanous to your entreaties,
Or is it all a self persuading incantation I tend to apply
Upon verging the fire of limerence?
That shall remain tenebrous and forever unintelligible!

Glut

If you had asked, I would have opened my doused mouth.
If you had asked, I would have wrapped my small hands around your shaft.
If you had asked, I would have circled your glans.
If you had asked, I would have clenched and devoured every inch of you.
If you had asked, I would have begged, pleaded, cried and implored,
For your attention, manifested in a hoary deluge
But you surmised my yen and occluded it for good!

Haunted

There is nothing special about us, my lover
It is simply another deplorable false avidity I surrender to.
There is nothing special about us, my invader
It is simply another juvenile persuasion of my pathetic quest.
There is nothing special about us, my conquistador
It is simply another attempt to recapture my fantasy enshrined in your pants.
There is nothing special about us, my executioner
It is simply another exhausting stop I must make in my delirium.

Lovill

I thought he could sate my desire,
My craving for limerence and adulation.
I thought his kiss between my thighs would make it better
And less painful.
I thought his fierce caress would help me climb
To that safe haven, I so craved!
I thought his meticulous thrusting would dislodge my deprived properties
And my demoralized contemplation of love.
But his impaired attention left me ravenous, aching and cold,
Until the calidity breeding my wetness slowly dissipated,
Into the thin air
And the pain emerged, much greater than its embryonic counterpart,
As I warranted his clench over my heart!

Cram

I wear my lips red,
So I can postulate the reflected vixen.
I pout and pucker to make you notice,
Coveting your acquiescence of my pulchritude
And your raving in my ear.
You devoured my sex and left my hair bedraggled,
My chin flushed with scarlet hue,
From your bristly paw and my sensual advent.
My lips remained maroon and bright,
On your luscious manhood.

http://jewrotica.org/2013/05/poetic-lechery/

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EROTIC POETRY: REVERIE

Because we’re dedicated to the pure, honest and simple expression of love, we think sometimes art and poetry is an excellent way to communicate that love. And what better person than our go-to erotica writer, Dr. Limor Blockman. Enjoy erotica? Passionate wordsmith? Keep your dictionary handy and read on.

* * *

Our reflection in the store window as we pass by,
Makes me wonder
What it would be like,
To prod you in an unlocked depository
And have my way with you.
I would throw you to the floor,
Then stand above you.
I would lift my dress,
Revealing my lustrous lips,
Under my petite thong
Shifted diagonally.
I would position my wetness,
On your full lips
And have you delve ,in my aperture,
Until you are deluged, in my eruption.
I would lower my Orchid,
On your Titan Arum
And take it all the way in,
Grinding it down, to my quintessence.
I would gasp and pendulate,
In your gratifying immensity,
Then collapse onto your broad chest
In my psychedelic ablution!

Enjoyed this? Check out more of Dr. Limor’s prose below:

* Erotica! Smut Diaries: Dinah
* Erotica! Smut Diaries: Hadassah
* Erotica! The 50 Shades-Inspired Mechanic Sex Fantasy: Rachel
* Erotica! The Teachings of Pleasure

AUTHOR
Limor Blockman, PhD
World-renowned clinical sex counselor
Dr. Limor Blockman is a world-renowned clinical sex counselor, practicing as a relationship and family counselor, a sex educator, advice columnist, speaker and author. She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, an MA in public health and community medicine, and a BA in psychology and behavioral sciences. She has published three bestselling books (published in Hebrew) and reaches people worldwide through print, TV, radio, Internet and video. Find out more about Limor through her website, Facebook or follow her on Twitter @DoctorLimor. Check out her new book, “365 Daily Tips for Outrageous Sex & Intimacy”.

https://getlusty.com/Article/7565/Erotic-Poetry-Reverie

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EROTIC POETRY: PAROXYSM

Because we’re dedicated to the pure, honest and simple expression of love, we think sometimes art and poetry is an excellent way to communicate that love. And what better person than our go-to erotica writer, Dr. Limor Blockman. Enjoy erotica? Read on.

* * *

A roseate top covering bare nipples,
She was spotted by him, as he was walking over
Ushering his toddlers into a toy store.
His broad shoulders, his parted lips, his coveting stare
Left her gaped in awe.
She followed him inside like a dog in heat,
Watching him between the shelves.
He could not take his eyes of her eager body,
Her profound carnal fervor.
He knew he must take her,
Here, now, strenuous!
A quick text message delivered his nanny at the entrance,
Embracing the young angels in her warm caress.
They left together without saying a word and walked into the fancy department store
Down the road.
Narrow dressing room, the scent of fresh tea tree covering his lips
As he closed them on her dilated aperture.
His pink tongue disappeared magically in her rosy slit,
She panted and gasped in his fierce invasion
And when he finally assailed into her,
Filling her up to her apex,
She knew she had to gulp him with her entire being
Here, now, strenuous!

Cross posted with permission from Dr. Limor’s Smut Diaries blog.

Enjoyed this? Check out more of Dr. Limor’s prose below:

* Erotica! Smut Diaries: Dinah
* Erotica! Smut Diaries: Hadassah
* Erotica! The 50 Shades-Inspired Mechanic Sex Fantasy: Rachel
* Erotica! The Teachings of Pleasure

https://www.getlusty.com/article/7595/erotic-poetry

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‘Dr.FeelGood’- Your real questions answered by your devoted  Sex &  Relationship Counselor  Dr.Limor Blockman- Jewish Weekly Review

‘Dr.FeelGood’- Your real questions answered by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor Blockman- Jewish Weekly Review

Home › Dr. Limor Blockman. › Dear Dr.L
DEAR DR.L

Published on Thursday, 23 May 2013 9:05 PM

Dear Dr.L,
My name is Yuri. I have a beautiful partner for 5 years now that I am about to marry. I love her very much and we are very excited about our future together. What I am concerned about is my ongoing need to ‘check out’ other women and to fantasize about certain ladies I come across. My partner is very gentle and demure and so she never confronts me about it ,but I am well aware that she is uncomfortable with it and possibly hurt.
I am also concerned that once we get married, I will have an even mightier need to be unfaithful and pursue other women.
I often cogitate about the source of it, I mean I love her dearly and she is exquisitely beautiful in my eyes, so why do I have this need? Is there something wrong with me? Is there anything I can do to calm and curb this need and thus avoiding any possible future anguish? Please help me.

Dear Yuri,
First,I would like to thank you for this important question. Many individuals deal with the issue of monogamy on a daily basis, regardless of gender,age or relationship status.
Unfortunately our society bases its norms on social and financial structures that are difficult to battle and almost impossible to alter. Let me ease your mind and conscience by stating that you’re absolutely not alone in this dilemma as it has nothing to do with some kind of dysfunction ,or ‘emotional disability’ you suffer from, but rather the natural human frame and properties. I differ it utterly from the social hypocrisy that might be forced upon us. Before the advent of agriculture, prehistoric humans lived in a much less sexually possessive culture, without the kind of lifelong coupling that currently exists in most countries.These circumstances changed everything about human society, from sexuality to politics ,to economics ,to health ,to diet ,to exercise patterns to work-versus-rest patterns. It introduced the notion of property into sexuality. Property wasn’t a very important consideration when people were living in small, foraging groups where most things were shared, including food, childcare, shelter and defense. It makes perfect sense that sexuality would also be shared — why wouldn’t it be when paternity wasn’t an issue back then?
In general ,modern psychology is practicing an injustice to society and couplehood when yielding solely to the necessity and commonality of monogamy, when so many factors ,even in the human form,indicate otherwise like the design of the penis, to the volume of the testicles, to the sperm-producing potential of the testicular tissue and the way we have sex. It’s paramount to stress that I am not advocating or negating any personal opinion and choice of monogamy, polygamy or any other form of lifestyle, to each his own and a unit formed from a man and a woman choosing to live together, can make its own choice.
I am however, advocating the prominence of an open discussion, preferably accompanied by a professional third party. This kind of dialogue will surface things while allowing openness, finding solutions together and avoiding future hardship. You might be surprised by your future wife’s approach towards your concerns and no matter how you relate to it, no good will come out of hiding your thoughts and desires ,especially since you HAVE mentioned that your partner is aware of your dilemma.

I strongly recommend reading the book ‘Sex at Dawn‘, a fascinating anthropological analysis of human sexuality in different cultures while covering the issue of monogamy as well.
Best of luck!!

Dear Dr.L,

I’m contacting you as a last resort as I am in a relationship that I am just about to be done with and I guess simply need some professional reassurance. I have been dabbling in this relationship for the last six months. Our love life is phenomenal and we are very compatible intellectually as well. The problem emerges from his utter ‘refusal’ to engage in any form of activity other than the one taking place in the bedroom. We both enjoy each other immensely, however every time I tried engaging in a conversation about his work or his social life,he would change the subject and abort my inquiry with the cliche’ ‘I love you’ that appeases my need to know more for the moment ,until the next time. At this point I’m feeling very lonely and not really in a relationship, even a minor feminine procedure I had to go through was not respected by him,as to his quests of engaging in sexual activity under these circumstances. His explanation is that I should be delighted with his passion towards me and that he always desires me ,but personally I see it as a pathetic, no good excuse ,to his inaccessibility and lack of real love or caring. Please help me!

Julie

Dear Julie,
Thank you for your question and for being so detailed and honest. You are definitely an intelligent woman with a highly observant ability. I fully agree with your argument as to the title of ‘relationship’ being completely too good to be given this, ‘connection’ if you will. At best I would call it a sexual escapade or a sensual adventure. The extreme circumstances of high libido and stamina on both ends, could have benefitted your relationship greatly, had it been accompanied by a real emotional and spiritual connection. The point you made regarding your ‘motivated’ partner’s inability to allow you a slow healing post op, applies to many possible future concerns. Life brings physical challenges even under good circumstances such as birth, as well as under more difficult ones ,like a physical injury or anything else that might hinder your ability to utterly surrender to the joy of sexuality and love making, then what?
If the entire relationship is based on carnal bliss, one has to wonder as to its properties. It’s simply inhuman to assume that we will always be ready and willing to enjoy it; career,children, family, financial hardship, physical pain or in one word- life, might get in the way of it, so if the person you’re involved with refuses to accept these limitations or worse case, might turn to ‘replacements’ ,need I really add anything? You have the answer to your question within you and I commend you for it. To be quite honest, you are not a ‘glory hole’ if you know what I mean..
Best of luck dear!

www.DrLimor.com Doctorlimor@gmail.com

Posted in Dr. Limor Blockman.

http://www.jwr.net.au/dear-dr-l/

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Dear Dr.L- Jewish Journal

Dear Dr.L- Jewish Journal

May 22, 2013 | 4:48 pm

Posted by Dr. Limor Blockman

Follow JewishJournal.com on

Dear Dr.L- your real questions answered thoroughly by your devoted Sex & Relationship Counselor Dr.Limor.
All questioners should be addressed to

Doctorlimor@gmail.com

Dear Dr.L,
My name is Yuri. I have a beautiful partner for 5 years now that I am about to marry. I love her very much and we are very excited about our future together. What I am concerned about is my ongoing need to ‘check out’ other women and to fantasize about certain ladies I come across. My partner is very gentle and demure and so she never confronts me about it ,but I am well aware that she is uncomfortable with it and possibly hurt.
I am also concerned that once we get married, I will have an even mightier need to be unfaithful and pursue other women.
I often cogitate about the source of it, I mean I love her dearly and she is exquisitely beautiful in my eyes, so why do I have this need? Is there something wrong with me? Is there anything I can do to calm and curb this need and thus avoiding any possible future anguish? Please help me.

Dear Yuri,
First,I would like to thank you for this important question. Many individuals deal with the issue of monogamy on a daily basis, regardless of gender,age or relationship status.
Unfortunately our society bases its norms on social and financial structures that are difficult to battle and almost impossible to alter. Let me ease your mind and conscience by stating that you’re absolutely not alone in this dilemma as it has nothing to do with some kind of dysfunction ,or ’emotional disability’ you suffer from, but rather the natural human frame and properties. I differ it utterly from the social hypocrisy that might be forced upon us. Before the advent of agriculture, prehistoric humans lived in a much less sexually possessive culture, without the kind of lifelong coupling that currently exists in most countries.These circumstances changed everything about human society, from sexuality to politics ,to economics ,to health ,to diet ,to exercise patterns to work-versus-rest patterns. It introduced the notion of property into sexuality. Property wasn’t a very important consideration when people were living in small, foraging groups where most things were shared, including food, childcare, shelter and defense. It makes perfect sense that sexuality would also be shared — why wouldn’t it be when paternity wasn’t an issue back then?
In general ,modern psychology is practicing an injustice to society and couplehood when yielding solely to the necessity and commonality of monogamy, when so many factors ,even in the human form,indicate otherwise like the design of the penis, to the volume of the testicles, to the sperm-producing potential of the testicular tissue and the way we have sex. It’s paramount to stress that I am not advocating or negating any personal opinion and choice of monogamy, polygamy or any other form of lifestyle, to each his own and a unit formed from a man and a woman choosing to live together, can make its own choice.
I am however, advocating the prominence of an open discussion, preferably accompanied by a professional third party. This kind of dialogue will surface things while allowing openness, finding solutions together and avoiding future hardship. You might be surprised by your future wife’s approach towards your concerns and no matter how you relate to it, no good will come out of hiding your thoughts and desires ,especially since you HAVE mentioned that your partner is aware of your dilemma.

I strongly recommend reading the book ‘Sex at Dawn’, a fascinating anthropological analysis of human sexuality in different cultures while covering the issue of monogamy as well.
Best of luck!!

Dear Dr.L,
I’m contacting you as a last resort as I am in a relationship that I am just about to be done with and I guess simply need some professional reassurance. I have been dabbling in this relationship for the last six months. Our love life is phenomenal and we are very compatible intellectually as well. The problem emerges from his utter ‘refusal’ to engage in any form of activity other than the one taking place in the bedroom. We both enjoy each other immensely, however every time I tried engaging in a conversation about his work or his social life,he would change the subject and abort my inquiry with the cliche’ ‘I love you’ that appeases my need to know more for the moment ,until the next time. At this point I’m feeling very lonely and not really in a relationship, even a minor feminine procedure I had to go through was not respected by him,as to his quests of engaging in sexual activity under these circumstances. His explanation is that I should be delighted with his passion towards me and that he always desires me ,but personally I see it as a pathetic, no good excuse ,to his inaccessibility and lack of real love or caring. Please help me!

Julie

Dear Julie,
Thank you for your question and for being so detailed and honest. You are definitely an intelligent woman with a highly observant ability. I fully agree with your argument as to the title of ‘relationship’ being completely too good to be given this, ‘connection’ if you will. At best I would call it a sexual escapade or a sensual adventure. The extreme circumstances of high libido and stamina on both ends, could have benefitted your relationship greatly, had it been accompanied by a real emotional and spiritual connection. The point you made regarding your ‘motivated’ partner’s inability to allow you a slow healing post op, applies to many possible future concerns. Life brings physical challenges even under good circumstances such as birth, as well as under more difficult ones ,like a physical injury or anything else that might hinder your ability to utterly surrender to the joy of sexuality and love making, then what?
If the entire relationship is based on carnal bliss, one has to wonder as to its properties. It’s simply inhuman to assume that we will always be ready and willing to enjoy it; career,children, family, financial hardship, physical pain or in one word- life, might get in the way of it, so if the person you’re involved with refuses to accept these limitations or worse case, might turn to ‘replacements’ ,need I really add anything? You have the answer to your question within you and I commend you for it. To be quite honest, you are not a ‘glory hole’ if you know what I mean..
Best of luck dear!

Dr.Limor Blockman,PhD Sex&Relationship Counselor www.DrLimor.com Doctorlimor@gmail.com

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וידויים”- המדור הסקסי של ד”ר לימור בלוקמן / פרק אחת עשרה

“וידויים”- המדור הסקסי של ד”ר לימור בלוקמן / פרק אחת עשרה

מאירועי השבוע הקודם:היה לי ברור שהגעתי לנקודת האל חזור. אם אסרב למגעיו של רוני, קרוב לוודאי שאשים קץ גם לחברות שלנו ואם איעתר, אני מתחייבת בכך לבחון זוגיות בינינו ואולי,אולי גם אהבה.נשכבתי על בטני והנמכתי את המגבת…

רוני לא פספס נקודת לחיצה ארוטית אחת בגבי,הוא באמת ידע להעניק עיסוי משובח ובכל זאת, משהו במגע שלו, בתחושה, אולי בהיכרות העמוקה והארוכה בינינו,לא אפשר לי להתמסר לחלוטין למגעו.כשהגיע אל הגב התחתון וניסה להזיז בעדינות את המגבת שכיסתה את ישבני,ביקשתי ממנו לעצור.

“רוני שלי, בוא נחשוב רגע על מה שקורה כאן,אה?מה אתה אומר?” משכתי את המגבת וכיסיתי את אבריי החשופים.

“דברי מותק, אני מקשיב,מה מפריע לך?” הוא הביט בי בפנים מתוקות ועורגות.

“אני לא יודעת,אתה יודע שיש בינינו המון אהבה וחמימות ,אבל מה אם זוגיות לא תעלה יפה ביננו? לא חבל לזרוק את הכול? אני מודאגת” ניסיתי לשלב “פסיכולוגיה בגרוש” בטענותיי,היה ברור לחלוטין שפשוט אינני מעוניינת.

בתוך מספר דקות בהן התנהלה שיחה חדה ונוקבת,מלאת האשמות על “טיזינג לא מבוקר” מצידי, “הוגליתי” אל חדר האורחים. רוני היה גבר אמיתי ולא העלה את האפשרות של “עזיבה מיידית” שלי.

למרות שהצלחנו לנהל שיחה נעימה ונטולת מניירות סקסיות אל תוך הלילה, החלטתי להדיר רגליי מחדר האורחים,כשהשעון הראה 3 בבוקר.

התלבשתי בדממה וסגרתי אחריי את דלת הדירה.

מצאתי את עצמי שוב בשדה התעופה. העייפות, התסכול ואי הוודאות סחטו אותי. חיפשתי פינה שקטה להניח עליה את גבי ולנמנם מעט. בביקוריי התכופים בשדות תעופה שונים בעולם הרגשתי צער כלפי אותם “מנמנמיי ספסלים” שהזדמן לי לראות לא אחת והלילה, הצטרפתי לכוחותיהם.

מנוחתי נמשכה כשעה וחצי לערך, התעוררתי לליטופיו של פעוט מתוק שמצא אותי בפינתי השקטה והחליט להעניק לי “טיפול פנים” בעזרת ידיים קטנטנות ורטובות. חייכתי לעברו, אמו הגיע בריצה והתנצלה ארוכות בסגנון אמריקני טיפוסי,על אף הפצרותיי ש” הכול בסדר, הוא מתוק ולא העיר אותי”…

גררתי את עצמי אל עבר מסך הטיסות היוצאות. “סן פרנסיסקו לא בא בחשבון,וושינגטון ממש לא, דאלאס,אין לי זיכרונות טובים משם ורגע” מלמלתי לעצמי “איך לא חשבתי על זה קודם..

LAS VEGAS HERE I COME!!!!!

נזכרתי שמספר מכרות שלי מתגוררות כרגע בעיר ומלבד זאת,אין כמו לאס ווגאס לשחרור טוטאלי ממחשבות הרסניות על זוגיות ואהבה,שם אף אחד לא נוחל הצלחה בתחום הזה,לפחות לא ארגיש לבד.רצתי אל הדלפק של

AMERICA WEST

בהתרגשות אדירה מן הרעיון ה”מבריק” שעלה בי ופתחתי: “כרטיס חד כיווני לווגאס,בבקשה תגידי שיש!”

דיילת הקרקע העייפה הציצה במסך הכחול שריצד למולה והנהנה בחיוב: ” כן מיס, נשארו עוד שלושה מקומות בטיסה הקרובה,את מעדיפה ליד החלון?”

יצאתי בעליצות מתפרצת לכיוון שער היציאה של הטיסה הקרבה ושלפתי את הסלולארי בחיפוש אחר שמות חברותיי הווגאסיות

“WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS”

וזה בדיוק מה שאני צריכה!

האם תמצא לימור את מבוקשה בווגאס,עיר החטאים? קראו בשבוע הבא…

http://israeliweek.com/וידויים-המדור-הסקסי-של-דר-לימור-ב-2/

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